Breaking Point
by xfirexfalconx
Summary: There came a point in Muraki's life when being the good doctor just wasn't enough...Oneshot, rated T for language. Please review.


A/N: This one-shot takes place before the beginning of the Yami no Matsuei series, between the characters Muraki and Oriya. It is supposed to be one of many interpretations as to what exactly happened to Muraki to make him the way he was, in this case 'it' being the death of a favored patient, so it is "AU" and possibly "OOC." YnM and its characters do not belong to me. Please review.

* * *

"It… I was trying to help…" I whispered, staring at my hands. 

Oriya hesitated, finally sitting next to me on the floor. "I know, Muraki. You meant well. It's just that…it's just that humans," he stumbled over the world, obviously having difficulty recognizing the difference in species, "can't survive that sort of trauma. There was nothing you could d—"

"Why?"

He stopped. "'Why' what?"

I was on my feet before I knew it, pacing back and forth across the room. "Why? Why can't humans withstand it? Why are humans so weak, despite their progress in everything else? Why couldn't I save her?"

"Muraki…"

"NO!" I yelled, turning on him. "No! My grandfather died before he could complete his studies, just like his own parents, because these human shells are so _weak._My father tried, and I…" I kicked over a lamp, uncaring as it crashed to the ground and shattered. "I fucking _killed him._"

"Muraki, STOP IT," Oriya grabbed me by the shoulders and pinned me against a wall. "STOP IT. You didn't kill your parents. Saki did that, NOT YOU."

"Are you so sure?" I snarled. "No, I didn't but I might as well have. I could have prevented it, Oriya, and I didn't. And that day… that day, I promised myself. No more deaths because of my inability to act."

"Inability to…You DID all that you COULD for that girl!"

"Well, it wasn't good enough. I've had it."

He stared at me. "… Muraki. What do you mean by that?"

I shoved him off, walking to the window and resuming my pacing, slower this time as I found my words. "… I'm going to carry on the studies of my fathers. My great-grandfather died before he finished, my grandfather picked up the torch but succumbed… My father was so close, so close… Don't you see, Oriya? It's in my hands now. I must pick up where they left off, and carry it through to the end."

"And how are you going to do that, Muraki?"

I laughed, but the sound was hollow. "I don't think your delicate sensibilities could handle it."

"What exactly are you planning to do?" he asked, the same question as before with a tad more fire. He wasn't going to give it up. "What is the end?"

"I already told you, Oriya. No more deaths."

He sputtered. "…You …you're trying to find immortality?"

"Not eternal life," I shook my head. "I just want to give them a second chance, Oriya. A fighting chance for them to lead their lives, without having their time cut so short."

Oriya's voice was soft, shaking. "Muraki, that's… You can't play God. You ca—"

"_WHAT GOD_?" The shout rang harsh and loud, even in my own ears; colors seemed to shift as the demon blood came forth, my eye changing into that of a serpent. "Any GOD that exists has played ME like a fiddle. I think it's ABOUT time to give the devil his due, don't you agree?"

Oriya seemed to shrink back as I faced him, but I could see it in his own eyes as he looked into mine… past the worry, past the fear… he was afraid, for himself or me I couldn't tell… there was understanding, finally settling into place. When he next spoke, his words were calm, thought out.

"You're going to kill people," he said without an inflection of emotion. It wasn't a question. It had never been a question.

"Better to sacrifice the few in order to save the many," I replied in the same tone. We watched one another in silence, until I spoke again. "You can walk away, you know. You don't have to be a part of this."

"Shut the fuck up, Muraki. If you're going to do this, you're going to need me."

"I've always needed you."

He scoffed, turning away and put his hands against the wall, leaning against it. "… May they have mercy on your soul, my friend."

"I care not for my own salvation." I went to the door, putting my hand upon the knob. "Are you sure you don't want to return to your little simple life, Oriya? I could make you forget any of this ever happened."

One more chance.

"Get out of here and get some sleep, you crazy bastard."

Ah, the third strike.

"So may it be, then."

I opened the door and left him there, stepping out into the cold, pitch-black night. A small breeze brushed across my face; I glanced up to see the moon riding high in the sky, her usual silver flesh cast with the deepest crimson red, like blood. An ironic smile played across my lips and with a small chuckle of appreciation, I walked through the trees and towards home, wrapped in the arms of the darkest shadows.

Mercy on my soul, indeed.


End file.
